I hate it when some place asks for your shirt size and gives you a completely different size. Why did you ask if you were going to ignore me? Do I look bigger than I actually am? I asked for a medium and they gave me an extra large. Even if they thought the medium would be embarrassingly skin tight, isn’t that MY decision? Now I’m drowning in a staff shirt that I hate. JUST GIVE ME WHAT I ASK FOR!
Roses are white
nightlock is blue
it’s called Catching Fire
not Hunger Games 2
Please don’t assume I’m unintelligent just because I enjoy putting effort into my appearance and have hello kitty school supplies
Shout out to all the religious kids who keep their beliefs to themselves in the middle of science class.
shout out also to the atheists who don’t shit on everyone else’s beliefs “because science”
shout out to all the people who understand that it’s possible to be religious and still believe in science
I hate it when I reach that point in the night where I am hungry, so I either have to sleep and wait until morning or get something to eat now and stay up later…
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
At first, I feel like:
About an hour later, I’ll suddenly realize what’s happened:
Then it really hits me, and I’m like:
Meanwhile, my insides are having this intense montage of explosions and sad music for the next few days, sort of like:
Loved it. But now I want to call EVERYONE “Old Sport.”
1) Buying gratuitous amounts of nail polish.
2) Wearing high heels around the house while cleaning.
3) Talking in strange voices and dancing like an idiot while driving.
4) Singing in strange voices along with Michael Buble.
“beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan
Once upon a time, I decided that it was my solemn obligation to prank my friends before we graduated.
So…I made Hogwarts Acceptance letters. A lot of them. Because who isn’t still waiting for their freaking letter to arrive?
My hand hated me so much. Also, cursive G is the worst.
Letters were posted. All was well.
Until this happened…
- me at home: i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
- me going away: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN
“On a stop light green means go and yellow means slow down, but on a banana it’s just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means, ‘where the fuck did you get that banana at?’ “
- tumblr people: TUMBLR IS A BULLYING-FREE COMMUNITY WHERE WE WILL NOT JUDGE YOU ON YOUR APPEARANCE OR SIZE OR GENDER OR SEX OR ORIENTATION AND ALL ARE WELCOME
- tumblr people: but if you're 12.9 years old gtfo you're obviously a dumb immature shit
- tumblr people: and if you're a white girl then we will make fun of you mercilessly
- tumblr people: and if you don't ship a gay ship you must be a homophobe so gtfo
- tumblr people: especially johnlock, you MUST be homophobic if you don't ship johnlock
- tumblr people: and if you get a fandom reference wrong then we'll laugh at you are pressured into abandoning your blog, leaving it with the title "I didn't know it was from ____________"
- tumblr people: and if you're religious you're probably a bible-banging homophobe so we hate you
- tumblr people: and if you make a mistake, not out of being a bigot but out of simply being ignorant, we will yell at you rather than first trying to explain to and educate you about why that is a mistake
- tumblr people: and don't get us started on how much we'll bait and insult you if you have a different diet to me
john green takes a shower
john green eats a bean burrito
john green loses weight
john green finds inner peace
john green killed augustus waters
john green steals a loaf of bread